Whip It – 2

Just when I thought there couldn’t be a scene more unbelievable than the last, Ellen Page and her Ashton Kutcher boyfriend found an unguarded indoor swimming pool, dove in with all their clothes and shoes on and proceeded to make love in an underwater ballet. Two years after playing a teen in Juno, Page, by now at least 25, sullied that memory by purporting to be another rebellious 17-year-old, who somehow metamorphs into a professional roller-derby star in moments stolen from her high school and waitress job. I could go on and on about everything that annoyed me, but I would just get annoyed again.

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